A Strong Cup of Joe

Sometimes I don’t know where I’m going to go with a certain writing in particular. I just couldn’t quite get it down in terms of where I thought it needed to go and keeping separate from that the possibility of where it could go and the actuality of where it will go and will have gone as a result. And so in these moments, its better to just start writing. You put the “pen to the paper” as they say. And with that being said there is a certain experiential understanding of what I know other people can get out of what I’m saying because they know that when someone says “pencils down” there is an embodied experience of “this” whatever it is I’m doing … stops. You’re taking the test and the teacher says pencils down and you know what that means.

Well in this endeavor of writing, I hear that and it has the potential to interrupt the train of thought making it’s way down the tracks. But there are time restrictions in that world called “School”. The school day starts at X time and ends at Y. This class starts at Z time and ends with A and the next … and so on. And then not only that but you have a certain number of minutes to work on for any particular assignment. And then outside of school, they give you homework to be completed by the following day. Time restrictions. With writing of the nature that I do, the time restrictions do come into play but only when I want them to and never at the cost of the essence the writing entails or at the very least the writing is trying to capture.

To further that idea without taking it too far outside the bounds of what I’m getting at -and it does tie in- I’ve heard of some rappers having a beginning and an end to their day in terms of recording and editing … and they can be in the middle of a recording session wherein they seemingly out of the blue for anyone on the outside of their internal experience not expecting this to come up to stop their recording right then and there and start right where they left off the following day … now, that’s not to say that they too cannot be interrupted in how they want and intend and will have their day have gone. That’s to say that as an individual, perhaps they want clearly defined lines for what is and is not what a particular experience will have been for them. This is my “job” in that world, do you see? It starts here and ends here.

Now, none of that is what my intention is put on to talk about here in an overt sense so let’s get back to what really matters ... I’m trying to keep in place a particular idea … at the risk of losing the very place trying to be kept. I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Lapu Lapu City just outside of Cebu, once upon a time, enjoying a nice piping cold beverage. One of the servers walks up and asks, “can I take a picture of you?” I take a moment. He gives me the time to think about my response. Sometimes people don’t let you do that. They interrupt the thinking process before it’s finished because for whatever reason, they could be afraid of rejection or are in a hurry or are just all around impatient or whatever, and they don’t let you actually take the time to go inside and ask yourself what you want to do.

Between that thinking they can also try and take advantage of that in-between-ness of the being outside and external and the inside-ness of the internality. For me, that’s usually an indication -not their ability to interrupt but their desire to do so- that I may or may not be dealing with someone that is either not up to speed with what’s happening for others or they are so outside of themselves that they can’t be bothered. But in either case, that did not happen here. He asked me, “… because I want to post it on social media.” An American showing up in this part of Cebu is not everyday for them though its not entirely outside their own experience as a whole … mostly, American’s as they are can be seen as quite literally “foreign,” and they love the media attention they may or may not get as a result in the world that they live in.

I thought for a few seconds in the span of that moment and simply said “No.” Now, simple as that, he understood and walked away. No pressure on me to be or do anything other than what I was. I wasn’t forced into an experience I didn’t want to have and with that came the room for me to change my mind if I so desired. I thought, “maybe if he is in the picture with me, I could,” because I could tell he just wanted a photo of me in their shop. How can I give him what he wants and also get what I want? What do I want? I call him over, set a condition that if he’s in the photo, I’ll take it, and then give him the same room to think about the idea as well, although he comes back much quicker than I do with my initial opening response. He talks to his co-worker and says “okay.” Simple as that. In the picture you see him in his work uniform representing his company, me with my smile on my face and a cup of their D.D. drink in my hand and the restaurant environment with the companies name on it behind and around us. For me, this embodies quite a positive experience.

Now, I think it’s important to note, these experiences are not separate from you. You are having these experiences, whatever they are entirely in my opinion because of the internal experience you are having at the moment these experiences come up for you. On one level at least, you have some degree of control directly tied to your level of awareness of what’s going on inside and outside of you. The Universe does have it’s say and ultimately has the final say in my worldview … but if you are taking 100% responsibility for whatever is going on in your world, you accept the fact and the understanding that how you channel the certain kinds of experience you’re looking at is what’s generating what’s coming next. In that, you have the possibility for directing the ship on where to go next and what experience you will have had with what will have come up as a result of what you did or did not do with what did and did not come up in your experience as a results of the perceptual filters in place at the time these experiences are being processed through your neurological input and output filters. How you shape and mold any given experience by virtue of what you’re doing and not doing with what shows up and doesn’t in these interactions, as a result, directly lands on your shoulders to do something, or not, about.

All in all, it's up to you.