Caring for a Person with Psychotic Episodes: Three Key Ingredients

As a 100% disabled veteran, my childhood, teenage, and adult life have all helped to shape the way my own psyche operates. Or rather, some would argue that my psyche shaped all of that. I would be more inclined to agree with the latter.

However, I know for me that my own experiences can be a bit much for the everyday people coming into my life not experiencing the modes of experience that some times take hold of me.

So, as a way for you to connect with me when I’m back, as I'm going through my psychotic episodes, there are three key ingredients to the dish you want to prepare for me while you wait for me to ‘come back’ so to speak. Here they are:

1) Be Patient with me. Let me open back up in my own time. Don't try and force it and do NOT try and push the conversation. I’ll bring shit up when I choose to discuss it in the case of what’s happening in my inner inner experience.

2) Be Kind to me. That part of my psyche needs a … gentler approach. The rougher you are with me at these moments, I see myself going in the opposite direction. I'm not saying I can't handle jokes and shots across the bough but timing is everything and in the moments when I need it most, sweetness over spicy is going to work best.

3) Be Certain with me and my boundaries. In any relationship, boundaries are going to ensure everyone is safe, healthy, and fulfilled. I need to be able to know what you want and need and you need to be able to know what I want and need. If I can't communicate my own boundaries, this is a warning sign that the storm is on or coming, my boat is shifting, and communicating that while I’m inside of it may not possible. So maybe I stay in it and I stay available to you anyways. Or I’m in it and it’s the kind of episode that says “let me go be by myself for a while” but in any case, your certainty is about the fact that you can shelter me in that experience. Or at the very least, you can help keep everyone else out while I’m fighting off the chaos in my inner world.

And that's it. I can usually tell when I'm going into an episode now. It's part of my self-awareness and understanding of who I am and how my own neurology operates via the trial by fire the world has put me through that I can usually tell when I'm going to need to be in a room alone and not be bothered by anyone in the outside world. This isn’t about you suffering with me. It’s actually quite the opposite … while you wait for me to come back, these are the three key ingredients to a dish you can have ready and warm for me as you await my return.

See you on the other side!