Full transcript of the entire episode here:

Hey guys.

David here.

I wanted to start this episode off and let you know that there's going to be two comments that I found somewhere online. And with this following your art podcast, I want to kind of share with you some of my thinking around the two comments that I've picked out.

These two comments are from separate profiles of friends of mine, and shared from other outside profiles.

With that in mind, this first one, I'm going to get right to the point, Dakota, she shared this post by a man named Gunter Davon, or Davon,I think, Davon. It says, I catch feelings from how we joke around and communicate. Not from sex.

With not being in all caps.

Let's get right into it. You know,

I look at that and I say, Okay, I catch feelings from how we joke around and communicate not from sex. I want to point out something very important when it comes to how we use our metaphors, right to express what we're what's going on for us right now. I think the feedback system and the feedback loops in our in our lives when we're using metaphors are responding to the way or to the way we use it, how we use it, and all aspects of that metaphor.

I was looking at the definition for the word catch. And I was able to kind of sift through all of the different definitions, and I found the one that I think I, you know, to catch feelings really means.

And in the term is, you know, to capture something. If I if I catch feelings, it's something that I've really wanted, right? I want to feel love for somebody, I want to feel excitement about seeing someone come and enjoy spending time with me. And if I if I catch feelings, I finally got it, right, it's mine.

The challenge with that is you can't leave out the other side of the metaphor. What's the other side of the metaphor?

It's the fact that what you catch is going to try to escape.

If I use a metaphor, like I catch feelings, I'm using something saying, I've got this thing, this person, this animal, this whatever, I’ve caught these feelings.

Their mine. Locked it down. It's going to try to escape.

That's the challenge I see with using a phrase like catching feelings. You know, there's many definitions for it, right?

If if feelings catch you, and this is using it in a different way, right? If feelings catch you, right, that's a whole scary situation. But that is to say that if I have caught a cold, right, I am grasped by that cold, and I'm sick or whatever I haven't, I'm experiencing some sickness.

All I'm trying to do is say this word catch is way more dynamic than we like to lead it to believe and it's doing more for the internal experience of a human being, then the person may or may not be intending just by using the expression and expression of that metaphor to catch something, whether that be feelings or whatever. Right?

So I've got feelings. You know, it says I catch feelings from how we joke around and communicate, not from sex. Now, we have three different experiences in a relationship right here that it's laid out for us. And it's leaving out one of them from the emotions of the experience, right? If I have feelings for someone, it's going to be so essentially, right? If we break it down, if I have feelings for someone, it's going to be because, and I'm putting this into my words, it's going to be because we joke around and because we communicate and it's not going to be because of sex.

That I would actually fundamentally disagree about. I'm going to just say it right there. I disagree.

And I'm not disagreeing that feelings are important to or that joking around is important to feelings, and communication is important to feelings. I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm disagreeing with the separation between these things and sex as if sex is the enemy.

You know, and maybe that's not what they're saying. But the implications of that right? Not from sex and not is an all caps. It's saying I don't catch feelings from sex, you're not going to, you know, get me to want to be with you because of how good the sex is or whatever. Again, I don't think I would agree with that. Because if I'm experiencing a wonderful loving, and I mean, yeah lustful experience with the person, sex is totally going into how I feel towards that person. I've had experiences where the sex with someone turned me off to them, I did not want to be with them because of how whether that was, and I don't want to, you know,

I don't want to

what's the word I'm looking for?

I don't want to act like that's all there was to it. This person was a beautiful person, they could joke around, they could communicate, but the sex was boring. And so that made the feelings harder to be to keep in touch. That's a whole. If you're using this as an equation, let's say feelings equals playful plus communication, right? It's saying not from sex. Oh, that's not even in the equation. It just says feelings equals playful plus communication, you could have a good friend like that you gave a really good friend, a really best friend.

That's what you could have. And that's great. Maybe your couple, your lover is your best friend. That's wonderful.

But I'd argue you can catch feelings from sex as well, meaning you can it's possible to catch feelings from sex, if the sex is good enough.

But it's also important to note that these three in combination work a hell of a lot better, right, we're talking about three different in my opinion, three different levels of experience, sex being the bass. Communication, and joking around can also be in the bass, but they also move up the ladder

to other parts of your experience, right in the emotional region, and in the mental game. So it's not just about sex. There’s all I think that to try and exclude it is to do a disservice to what your relationships can actually build on, and the kind of energy that you can create and create with.

Now,next up the second comment that I saw, and I found this on my friend, Chelsea's page, posted by she shared someone's mother of heathens post it says it was a picture of a girl laying back and I actually want to do that image justice. Give me a second. The comment above it. The painting is of a woman laying on a on a bed, red hair, green sofa, blue dress and yellow book in her right hand as she's laid back kind of, she looks beat right? She looks kind of like she's fucking giving up on one level and just trying to relax. And the comment says it since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Man, that's a point of giving up that really,

that's it's terrible. But at the same time, it's an acceptance.

It's an acceptance of the way things are.

I think, because

I once heard a man say and this this is going to speak directly to the middle of what this whole statement is trying to point to.

I heard it from a man who was a part of a church. I think it's the Agape church a long time ago. I was going through some really tumultuous experience.

And in the middle of that I was kind of trying to find something that could help and I heard this guy talking and he's uh. He was leader of the church there. I don't remember his name. But he said

it I'm gonna have to put this into my own words. He said, if you're going to have to be experiencing something for the rest of your life, right? If you're going to be experiencing whatever you're experiencing, like you're depressed or you're fucking angry, or you're just you betrayed, right? If whatever you're experiencing in this moment right here right now, you would have to experience for the rest of your life.

just think about that for a moment. Put yourself in that position where now, what would you need

in terms of resources

in terms of

what you're capable of. Right? What would you need in order to survive that for the rest of your life?

Right? If you're having, say you're depressed or whatever, if your life is that depressed for the rest of it, what do you need to be experiencing in terms of resources, in terms of your capabilities? In terms of who you really are? That can handle that for the rest of your life? Who is it that you are, that is able to handle that for the rest of your existence in on this planet?

With that in mind,

it says, since it's impossible to know which part of my life is the middle?

I was trying to figure out okay, what is she talking about? What is the middle the period of life that is the middle is to say, when I'm not a child? And when I'm not an adult? I'm trying to find when should I have a midlife crisis? When am I supposed to have? When am I expected? Right? When do I need to look for whatever this midlife crisis is? Right? Do I what? So it's trying, essentially, the person is trying to

eliminate the anxiety

of the experience of not knowing whether or not they're having a crisis, for the they're sacrificing all of that anxiety, for the certainty of knowing it's happening now period, right, I've sacrificed the future possibility of what I'm afraid of,

for the present existence of what is in terms of like,

I might not realize I'm already in it. So let's just be in it, and just say I'm in it, or whatever, right. That's the challenge that I think this person is facing. And again, I'm going to circle right back to what I said, if you would have to experience that for the rest of your life, either side of that, meaning the present ongoing crisis, if I have to experience that, for the rest of my life, this ongoing crisis, whatever it may be, for the rest of my life, what do I need, in terms of resources and capabilities? What kind of person do I need to be to be able to handle this, and to be able to push through and to be able to survive?

And on the other side of the coin, right, if I am just facing the anxiety of not knowing whether or not the crisis is coming?

Right? That I'm afraid, so afraid that the crisis is coming? If I need to live in that fear of the future crisis being present, or that anxiety of the future crisis being present,

what resources and capabilities and who do I need to be

to have in my life, the ability to keep going, regardless of living in that for eternity? You could say if I have to do this for eternity, what do I need to be to just keep going?

That being said, I'm gonna leave it there. I find this to be very fascinating, in terms of, you know, seeing stuff that's posted and being able to share my own thoughts on it. In this follow your art podcast, I will see you on the other side. Talk soon